Thursday, August 6, 2009

uncomfortable levels of self-disclosure

here at TEAM SPINSTER! we believe in uncomfortable levels of self-disclosure.

and masturbation.

in the interest of promoting the two I would like to share a few tips with our readers (by which I mean, probably just the three of us.)

Sex Tips for lonely hearts!
1. I know it's played, but maybe rent a johnny depp movie. or if you're into blondes any of the new james bonds OR mmm. the transporter. any scene where he takes off his shirt is good. just memorize those scenes... you will need them later.

2. lube is vital! the best is extra virgin (heh heh) coconut oil!
you can't use this with a partner if you're using condoms, because it will destroy the latex, but it's a really nice lube that doesn't get sticky and it smells really good, so if you're uncomfortable with yourself at all it's a bonus. also it makes a great moisturizer and you can cook with it! what else do you want in a lube??

3. listen if you don't use anything bigger than your finger, you are still a virgin. don't worry about it.

4. pick some mood music. I like the dirty projectors.

5. talk to yourself. it sounds silly, but it can be fun. also I think this tip would make sex with another person more fun, as it focuses the mind and the body.

6. for women it really is all about the mind body connection.

7. that's why you really want to think "whole body" on your "sexplorations"

8. also... switch positions! why not?

9. variety is the spice of life bitches.

10. if all else fails break out the wine and anais nin.

11. sometimes you have to take a break and start over later.

well. that's all I have for you right now. I'll work on it and get back to you all later.

keep your end up!!

Cap'n V.


  1. did we go too far? are people ascared of us now? maybes.

  2. who looks at this? are carrots kosher?

  3. I don't know who looks at this and you'll have to answer the carrot question for yourself...

  4. I totally just found you guys!